Southern California & Destination Wedding Photographer » Amelia Strauss Photography

I was a blessed child. I grew up in a loving home, in a beautiful neighborhood, with a close-knit family. Southern roots ran deep.

I had the great privilege to grow up with three of my grandparents living. I never really understood how precious this was until I lost my Grandfather when I was 20 years old. January 19th of that year kicked off one of the hardest years of my life. He was the first person I was very close to that passed away. Unfortunately, the year brought tragedy after tragedy, and I came to know death well.

I was left with two incredible grandmothers. Strong southern women who were as different as they come but inspirational beyond imagination. During my engagement to my husband, I again realized the blessing of generational relationships - he had lost ALL of his grandparents before he was ever born. Also, during our engagement, my Paternal Grandmother passed away. The circle of life was all around me, and I marveled at my Lord’s sovereignty. My Maternal Grandmother made the trek over from Charleston, South Carolina to Birmingham, Alabama to be at my wedding. She was 92 years old and frail, and she loved us, and I was honored that she came, and it was one of the highlights of my wedding day. She was there for the ceremony alone. Our only grandparent. It meant the world to me.

Fast forward a few years. My Grandma Josie was now the only surviving member of a generation I revered and loved with all my heart. I started asking more and more questions; I wanted to hear all of her stories. I wanted her memories to live on with me. I wanted her to live on in me. I spent more and more time in Charleston with my Mother. Eventually, Grandma Josie moved out of her house. Things were changing and it was heartbreaking. I didn’t have the fortune of growing up in the same city she lived in - this was the city of my Mother’s childhood, not mine. But it was a city that held my heart, and the magic was diminishing. It seemed cloudier, darker, and started to become a glimmer of what it once was to me.

December 5, 2009 - I move to Los Angeles. December 10, 2009 - I take a red-eye flight to Charleston. I helplessly watch a woman I love start to wither away. I watch a woman by her side walk through utter despair as she sits beside her Mother and prays with her. I cry. Here before me are two women who I long to be like, yearn to support and care for and comfort, want to make proud - and I can do nothing. I spend time with my cousins. I look to my Aunt and Uncle for the ways to love my family as we walk through this together. I’m devastated. Life was rapidly marching forth, and I felt alone and adrift and angry.

December 24, 2009. Christmas Eve. My Grandma Josie passes away. It wasn’t a peaceful death. My heart breaks. For me, for my Mother, for my family.

Her funeral was on December 27th. I drove back out to California on January 1, 2010. The state comes with me - our team is headed to the National Championship in Pasadena. We move into a new place on the beach. I don’t have time to think. Everyone goes home. I work hard, learn to live with my husband again, and start to reach out to my new community. I fly back East for four jobs, come back to California again. Start going to a church. Join a small group. Pray for friends. Start focusing on where my business is headed. I avoid the emotional tides under the surface.

My talks with my Mother are to check in, let her know I love her and am praying for her, let her know I haven’t forgotten what she’s going through. I finally start acknowledging what I’m going through. Last week, I realize there is a specific phrase resonating with me, and I’m repeating it in my mind. Something my Uncle Charles said at her funeral - “the quiet strength of a Melanie”…

To paraphrase, as he talked about my Grandmother’s life, he mentioned Gone With The Wind; “Why is it such a masterpiece? Why do we watch this movie countless times? What draws people in to the story? It isn’t the antics of Scarlett…it is the quiet strength of Melanie. I submit to you that this woman was a Melanie. A dignified woman with strength and grace and peace…”

There are so many things I want to share about my Grandmother, but I don’t know how yet. Every time I write on this blog, I feel like a liar denying the things that are going on behind the scenes. So I may as well start with the basics of my heart…

My Grandma Josie passed away on Christmas Eve, her wedding anniversary. She and my Grandfather were married for 69 years at the time of his death. They were the greatest love story I’ve ever heard. I intend to share their story someday when I’m emotionally ready to do so. They were the epitome of what a marriage could be, and my Grandmother is the greatest inspiration I’ve known. She is the woman I want to be.

I often find myself wrapped up in the daily antics of a Scarlett. I live in a world of ambition, selfishness, self-centeredness, and social over-stimulation. I can be silly, loud, and quick to speak. And although there are aspects of my personality that definitely make me who I am - there are others that I find myself convicted of. Are my antics biblical? Not in the least. Is this who I was made to be? I know that it is not. I was made to be less like Scarlett, and more like Melanie. And that is my prayer, that I too would have the quiet strength of a Melanie…